i)
a smoker, eh, said the mortician
to his friend.
which one? said the friend.
box 339. his lungs
are all black and crap.
ii)
he wasn't a rich man,
said the cousin to the lawyer,
but i'll be damned if he didn't
leave me enough
for a new lawnmower.
iii)
i guess i'll miss you,
said the son.
but i'm sorry, dad. i'm sorry
for everything.
iv)
you sick little bugger, laughed
the best friend. i hope
there are beer volcanoes
and prostitutes
wherever you're headed.
v)
he had it coming,
said the coworker.
vi)
our brother lived a fulfilling life,
said the pastor to his mindless
little flock, was a great man
and he loved
and he loved
to the very end. also, there will be
refreshments on the cemetery lawn
right after the burial.
vii)
damn it! said
the insurance company.
viii)
i was going to lay him off
anyway, muttered the boss
when no one was listening.
ix)
ha! said god.
i win.
x)
i always told him all that smoking
would do him in someday,
said the shrugging mistress.
xi)
screw you, i said. you think
you've beaten me to it,
but i've already been dead
for sixteen years.
xii)
the wife said nothing.
xiii)
this place smells like
dog piss, said the dead guy
as he glanced around.
hey jesus
you got a light?