Ethnicity and Race (Optional - Check all that apply)
That apply to whom?
Myself? But it doesn't say!
[look at my skin color]
All right, I think I know what people would say.
But is it really true?
[think back over genealogy]
Well, my paternal grandmother came from PlaceOne,
and my maternal grandfather came from PlaceTwo,
and my paternal greatn grandparents lived in PlaceThree.
So am I Oneish, Twoish, or Threeish?
[look back at application]
Oh - One, Two, and Three are all lumped under one catagory!
But then there's: Multiracial.
Well, isn't everyone?
Ahh, great, the whole thing's Optional.
(If you are accepted and enroll, this information will be required by
federal/state agencies to evaluate civil rights compliance.)
Oh. But I thought the Constitution was colorblind.
(If you're colorblind, can you tell the black ink from the white paper?
Of course. So you can tell apart some colors...)
An equal education and employment opportunity institution
So does it matter at all?
Well, hey, someone in my heritage was adopted.
It was a closed adoption.
So I don't know my ethnicity! Hey!
I certify that the information provided on this application is true to the best
of my knowledge, and I understand that any omission or misrepresentation of
facts or failure to furnish information to the Office of Undergraduate Admission
will automatically invalidate consideration of this application and/or
acceptance to [this college].
"To the best of my knowledge"...
The anthropologists tell me I'm African.
They say everyone is.
Somewhere back there.
So what's the point of asking the question?
I think I'm just going to leave it blank.
[Application submitted.
The college sends back a packet to confirm my information.
It says:]
Ethnicity: Unknown.
...
Any discrepancies may invalidate an offer of admission.